Climate Shocker – 6 More Weeks Of Winter! (I could have made book on that)

Dateline Punxsutawney, PA – PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL SEES HIS SHADOW – GORE ON SUICIDE WATCH! Film at 11…

Last year I made it a point to illustrate the stupidity of rodent prognostications when it comes to the length of the winter season. I know, it’s tradition. But anyone with a wall calender and the ability to count will tell you whether Phil saw his shadow or not, there are 6 1/2 more weeks of winter. This time interval is the same every year but every year there are thousands of morons who trek down to Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, PA at 3am in order to have a good place from which to see a bunch of over-dressed faux officials drag the poor woodchuck (Phil is actually a North American Woodchuck) from his slumber at 7:30am in order to guess whether or not he sees his shadow. The nation is on pins and needles waiting to hear the news – news that is the same every year incidentally -of whether the calender is correct. Never mind the astrophysics involved, hell, that’s just a bunch of witchcraft anyway. Isn’t it? We’ll go with the tailless beaver instead.

As for Al Gore…

Any truncation in the length of winter would bolster his chicken little predictions. And since Phil confirmed that the spring equinox isn’t due for 6 1/2 more weeks, Tipper should keep the Goracle away from sharp objects for the foreseeable future.

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